Liverpool 0 Fulham 0
Match report

Well, they said it couldn't be done. The mighty Fulham, frivolous plaything of the fun-loving multimillionaire Osama Bin Laden, brought their mighty scoring machine frontline to Anfield, hoping to chalk up even more points on the road.

Well, he might have recently defeated Hilary Clinton in the US Presidential By-election, but Barack Bin Laden couldn't bring the same touch of sparkle to Fulham's winning ways. Put simply, they got beat. Well, not beat exactly, but they drew anyway. And a draw is as bad as a defeat for Fulham but it's as good as a victory for top-of-the-table Liverpool, whose eight point gap over their nearest rivals is beginning to look unassailable. AND IT'S NOT EVEN DECEMBER YET.

Liverpool create chances with ease. It's obvious that the only reason we don't bother scoring them all is to MAKE THE LEAGUE A BIT MORE INTERESTING - something that the bubble-about-to-burst known as Chelsea might learn a bit about. Because while Liverpool were crushing Fulham at Anfield, Chelsea were - get this - BEING HELD TO A NIL-NIL DRAW BY PREMIER LEAGUE NO-HOPERS NEWCASTLE UNITED. How very boring.

Frankly, anybody who thinks the league isn't already over this season is only fooling themselves. The groundsman at Anfield is already extending the trophy cabinet.

It's coming home, it's coming home, it's coming, the Premiership's coming home.

Man of the Match Lucas Leiva 9.5
He's cute, he has a tireless engine, and he scores a PHENOMENABUBBLE number of goals.

Mick Barry


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