Liverpool 0 Fulham 0
Match report

Well, they said it couldn't be done. The mighty Fulham, frivolous plaything of the fun-loving multimillionaire Osama Bin Laden, brought their mighty scoring machine frontline to Anfield, hoping to chalk up even more points on the road.

Well, he might have recently defeated Hilary Clinton in the US Presidential By-election, but Barack Bin Laden couldn't bring the same touch of sparkle to Fulham's winning ways. Put simply, they got beat. Well, not beat exactly, but they drew anyway. And a draw is as bad as a defeat for Fulham but it's as good as a victory for top-of-the-table Liverpool, whose eight point gap over their nearest rivals is beginning to look unassailable. AND IT'S NOT EVEN DECEMBER YET.

Liverpool create chances with ease. It's obvious that the only reason we don't bother scoring them all is to MAKE THE LEAGUE A BIT MORE INTERESTING - something that the bubble-about-to-burst known as Chelsea might learn a bit about. Because while Liverpool were crushing Fulham at Anfield, Chelsea were - get this - BEING HELD TO A NIL-NIL DRAW BY PREMIER LEAGUE NO-HOPERS NEWCASTLE UNITED. How very boring.

Frankly, anybody who thinks the league isn't already over this season is only fooling themselves. The groundsman at Anfield is already extending the trophy cabinet.

It's coming home, it's coming home, it's coming, the Premiership's coming home.

Man of the Match Lucas Leiva 9.5
He's cute, he has a tireless engine, and he scores a PHENOMENABUBBLE number of goals.

Mick Barry

You've just achieved the highlight of your pissant, whinging little career so far and what do you do? Put on a hat that some wool from Bebington would be ashamed to be seen cavorting in, then strip to the waist so that your bumboy mates can crack one off over you.

This sort of shite might be acceptable in the backstreets of Prague if you're selling your arse, but not here, pal.

What's more, Scarves? fuck me, You glory hunting fucker. You weren't wearing that red shite when you were playing gash against piss poor opposition for the rest of 2005, were you?

Do you really expect to stay with displays like this? The lack of goals is not the end of your Liverpool career, acting like an OOT wanker surely should be though.

Thankfully we don't have to put up with displays like this from you anymore!

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