You've just achieved the highlight of your pissant, whinging little career so far and what do you do? Put on a hat that some wool from Bebington would be ashamed to be seen cavorting in, then strip to the waist so that your bumboy mates can crack one off over you.

This sort of shite might be acceptable in the backstreets of Prague if you're selling your arse, but not here, pal.

What's more, Scarves? fuck me, You glory hunting fucker. You weren't wearing that red shite when you were playing gash against piss poor opposition for the rest of 2005, were you?

Do you really expect to stay with displays like this? The lack of goals is not the end of your Liverpool career, acting like an OOT wanker surely should be though.

Thankfully we don't have to put up with displays like this from you anymore!

Spurs 1 Liverpool 2
Match report

After crushing Carling Cup holders Tottenham Hotspur on their own turf on Wednesday night, Liverpool remain red-hot favourites to achieve the seemingly impossible and bring all four major trophies home to Anfield by May 2009. Add that to the Charity Shield and European Super-Cup already scooped up at the start of the season (NB Robbo can you check these details for us? cheers mate, Mick) and it's clear to see why 2009 is already being billed as the year of the Scouse Sextuple.

Daniel Plessis broke the deadlock just after the break with a splendid headed goal from a corner past the previously watertight hands of Heurelho Gomes. Spurs scrambled a fortunate equaliser that owed much to a deflection off Sami "no pasarán" Hyypia. But frankly it was only a matter of time before the home side succumbed, and it was Sami himself who scored the winner, again penetrating the seemingly impregnable fortress that Gomes constructs to defend corners.

Wise football pundits had decided before the game that Spurs would flood the defence and that it would be advisable to spend the first 45 minutes in the pub. This proved to be an excellent decision as all the goals came in the second half.

Now it's the turn of Bolton to be slaughtered. The Wanderers visit Anfield on Saturday to try to put a dent in the only 100% record left in the League. (Robbo are we deffo at home on Satdy mate? - Mick)

Mick Barry

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